Have you ever met someone and immediately disliked them? or on the contrary, like them immediately?
When someone upsets us, it is easy to fall into the vicim role and blame them for our reactions. And SO much more difficult to take responsibility.
‘Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves’. – Carl Jung
Whether someone triggers us or not, depends on whether it connects to something deep within ourselves. When you are triggered by someone’s attitude or behaviour, it is just that, a trigger. The moving of something seated deep inside of you.
- Maybe it is something you really dislike, or really like about yourself
- Maybe it is something you are working on changing within yourself
- Maybe it is a quality you disapprove of because you know it creates suffering, or a quality you wish you had.
I used to get triggered by ‘know-it-alls’. Agh, the arrogance! – I used to think – and felt immediate rejection. It took courage and time, but after some internal exploration, I learnt something very important about myself in these situations.
As a child, I learned that being smart made me valuable. So any time my smartness was challenged, my barriers would come up. Oh, the fear of not being valuable, how deep it runs.
This new understanding didn’t only help me become more tolerant, but even more importantly, it showed me a part of myself that needed to be healed. I needed to see my value independent of my intelligence.
Everyone you will ever meet can be an opportunity to learn something about yourself. An opportunity to see a part of you asking for attention, for space to be understood.
You can take things personal when you don’t like the sender of the message, or fall into praise and idolatration when you do. Or, you can actually be present with what is happening within, as a result of what is happening without. To listen, and become more conscious of yourself.
It is up to you.
Next time someone upsets you, can you take the time to look within?
Thank you for being here,
Camila ~ Journey Within Coaching
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